Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?

October 23, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?

And now you know

And now you know

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Let’s give a big shout out for that chicken!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Advertisements

The Kiss of Death for Sen. Obama?

January 29, 2008

It is I, Mr. Bob the Mystic. And I am here to make a prediction for Election 2008.

I predict the if Sen. Barack Obama becomes the Democratic candidate for President in 2008 he will pick, drum roll please, Sen. John Kerry as his running mate.

Sen. Barack ObamaSen. John Kerry (D-MA)

I also predict that this could be the kiss of death for Sen. Obama. Many Americans will not soon forget the Swift Boat scandal. Nor will they forget that if Sen. Kerry lied then, well, he will lie again. America does not need this kind of Vice President. Remember, he would be a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Scary, very scary IMHO.

On the other hand, I think it is great that by having Sen. Kerry, and yesterday Sen. Ted Kennedy endorse Sen. Obama it was a HUGE slap in the face to Hillary and the former President! Yeah! I just love good news.

Hillary Clinton

Wow, I can’t believe that I would ever have ANYTHING nice to say about Sens. Kerry and Kennedy! I had better keep an eye out for a lightening strike aimed at my tail.

Okay, now Ms. Ruby wants to say something (doesn’t she always).

Now, Bob don’t get smart. Look at the bright side, perhaps Kerry and Kennedy will go for a boat ride and strike the Dike Bridge on Chappaquiddick Island. ( Never forget Mary Jo Kopechne).

 


Let it be…

January 28, 2008

Wow, what can I say? Sometime a picture is worth a lot more than a thousand words. And this is one of those pictures. When Ms. Ruby saw it she knew what had to be done. Share it will all of our friends of course.

Let it be.

Have a good week.

Mr. Bob.