Are you part of the problem?

October 16, 2008

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida .

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation.

I've got answers to everything.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Are there any other problems that you’d like for me to solve today? Yes!

Think about this one:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians . . . . It creates a hostile work environment.

PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, Think about this: If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone–YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for America to Speak up!

Yep, I passed it on!

Now this is an Old Girl I could get to love,

Night,

Mr. Bob

And a tip of the bowl to Gary B for send this email.

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The kind of representation we have in congress.

September 28, 2008

A friend* was kind enough to send me this piece. He read it on the Internet, so you darn well know it’s true. Besides it sounds like Nancy Pelosi.

A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) happened to appear.

Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.”

“What sort of question?” asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'”

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

She who would be queen.

She who would be queen.

* Tip of the old hat to Donald J for the idea.


Chasing his tail again.

August 17, 2008

Well, it’s nice to see the old fool Mr. Bob chasing his tail in joy again.

Mr. Bob chasing his tail.

Mr. Bob chasing his tail.

Seems one of our posts about Black Holes got a mention on another blog. Mr. Bob was playing around with the dashboard (I wish he wouldn’t do that) and he came across a post on http://wordpress.com/tag/judge-thomas-jones/

Thanks Judge, no I have to watch this idiot run around howling that he has been read by someone! Please have pity on me folks.

Bye for now,

Ms. Ruby


Trail of Cheetos Leads Cops to Thieves. Cheetos’s Spokesman Not Impressed.

August 14, 2008

Trail of Cheetos Leads Cops to Thieves

ST. PAUL – Three teens in St. Paul, Minnesota, are facing charges for burglarizing a vending machine after being fingered by an orange trail of Cheetos.

According to a criminal complaint, officers were called to a recreation center last month, where they found a vending machine’s glass had been broken with a chair. Most of the candy and chips were missing.

The officers followed a trail of snack debris from the rec center, around the side of the building and to a nearby home. Inside, they found numerous vending-sized bags of Cheetos and other snacks.

Police arrested three males aged 17, 18 and 19 when they arrived at the home. The two older suspects are charged with third-degree burglary, while the 17-year-old is charged with criminal damage to property.

The complaint says all three denied being involved.

New information has been obtained by the police. They have now released photos of the two older suspects. They have been identified the two as woman, who are still being sought. Identified were Sybil Cheezeebut, age 29 and Gretchen “Tiny” Wollikski, age 33.

Cybil Cheezee and Gretchen "Tiny Wollikski".

Cybil Cheezeebut and Gretchen"Tiny" Wollkski.

The male pictured below is also wanted for questioning. He has not been identified at this time. If you have any information as to identity, please call the police.

Also wanted for questiong.

Also wanted for questioning.

Cheetos spokesman is not impressed, but does want the death penility in the case.

Cheetos spokesman is not impressed, but does want the death penalty in the case.


‘Top Ten Signs Barack Obama is Overconfident’

July 31, 2008

Letterman’s ‘Top Ten Signs Barack Obama
is Overconfident’

From the Late Show with David Letterman, a “Top Ten” list written for the July 29 show, but edited out for time from what aired yet accidentally posted on the show’s Web site, the “Top Ten Signs Barack Obama is Overconfident.”

Late Show home page: lateshow.cbs.com

For video of Letterman presenting this list: lateshow.cbs.com

10. Proposed bill to change Oklahoma to “Oklobama”

9. Offered Bush 20 bucks for the “Mission Accomplished” banner

8. Asked guy at Staples, “Which chair will work best in an oval-shaped office?”

7. The affair with Barbara Walters

6. Having head measured for Mount Rushmore

5. Guy sits around eating soup all day

4. He’s voting for Nader

3. Offered McCain a job in gift shop at Obama Presidential Library

2. Announced his running mate will be Andy Dick

1. Been cruising for chicks with John Edwards


July 28, 2008

Wow, what can we say. Such a nice piece… of truth.My fellow Americans:
Sen. Obama
As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor’s relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush’s youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedy’s for coming out in support of me. There’s a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair. And I’m not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I’d like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement , but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don’t really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them.

Americans are tired of thinking. It’s time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote, remember don’t think, just do. And do it for me.

Thank You.
Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.


Texas County Official Sees Race in Term ‘Black Hole’

July 12, 2008

Once again the whole Political Correctness thing has gotten out of hand. While watching FOX News today Mr. Bob let out a blood curdling cry. That could me on one thing. The PC Police are at it again. This time it come from county commissioner in Dallas TX.

Seems two Dallas County official have take offense to the term “BLACK HOLE” felling it was a racist remark. Appears that devils food cake and angels food cake are racist also.

That's Racist!

That's Racist!

Yes, that right, the word “BLACK HOLE”! It used to be that any person with even the slightest knowledge of science knew what a “BLACK HOLE” was. So, as a public service message to these two Dallas commissioners Here is a link to the definition of a “BLACK HOLE” is. Just in case that is a little to technical for the, here is a link that even has nice, simple animation for them.

Did I forget to mention the name of these two very insulted gentlemen? John Wiley Price and Judge Thomas Jones. Will I guess this speaks volumes for our judges. (Something both Mr. Bob and I knew for a long time.) Here is the Honorable John Wiley Price defending his argument that the term “BLACK HOLE” is racist.

With our busy lives, we don’t have time to search all of the 11,800,000 English web sites that the Google search produced. We also apologize for not searching all of the 14,600,000 Google images that were found. And yes, “safe search” was turned off. Yahoo Search produced 212,000,000 web page hits and Ask search displayed 11,800,000. Perhaps these two fellas have time to look at all those sites themselves.

As is said, a picture is worth a bunch of words. Here is how Mr. Bob sums it up…

Laughing Hound

Have a fantastic day,

Ms. Ruby & Mr. Bob

P.S. Don’t even think about using terms “black sheep/white sheep”!