I’m Going To Save A 1K Words….

July 2, 2007

The A List Jail at the Hilton Prison.

Advertisements

I’m Going To Rip Off My Tail!

June 29, 2007

Enough!

I tried not to say anything. I sat here for 3 days, biting my tail so I wouldn’t make a post. But I can’t do it any longer. ENOUGH about this Publicity Whore, paris hilton (I won’t even use capitalization of her name).

She is nothing but a blond (?) under-educated, jailbird, convict slut. (Sorry, didn’t mean to show any disrespect to other jailbirds and convicts). This Publicity Whore never even completed high school. She has a farking GED that I bet mommy and daddy paid for. Now she has “attended a slew of posh schools on both coasts, including Professional Children’s, Dwight and Buckley and a school for troubled kids in Utah. Her father won’t confirm if she ever earned a high school diploma.”

Oh, I should also add that she is a lying Publicity Whore. In the same article linked above, she denies using drugs or drinking. “She likes to go out and have a good time,” says Manhattan publicist Lizzie Grubman, who has known Hilton for six years. “But that doesn’t mean alcohol and drugs are involved.”

In fact, insists Paris, she doesn’t even hit the bottle. “I hate the taste of alcohol,” she says. “When I’m drinking, I’m drinking Red Bull. When I was younger, yeah, I drank before.” But Ms. Ruby did some checking and found on the The Smoking Gun website evidence that contradicts what she told Larry King on CNN last nigh. And I might add, it even has videos. Now you lying slut, what have you got to say for yourself? And how does she explain the drinking and driving charges she has?

Time to cut the hype about this Publicity Whore. She is worthless. And what’s with that crazy bending over backward strut she has? Has she got some kind of support to keep her upright? Or is it just a curved piece of pipe that someone shoved up her ass?

That’s all I came to say. Now I need to eat some grass (lawn grass, not the hilton kind) and have a good barf. Want to join me.

Bob signing off, and good night to you all.

Hilton Saga

 


Publicity Slut Paris Hilton To Be Released, Who Cares?

June 25, 2007

Sad as it is, Mr. Bob evidently does. He has been glued to the TV since 1 minute past midnight today. He heard a rumor that Hilton could be released that early today. He was also relieved to know that she thinks she is a changed person and a better person since serving “hard time” in the pound.

Only one problem with the changed person thing. The first thing on her schedule will be to get a facial. Must be to get all the scum and crude of the lower classes off of her upper crust of a dermal layer.

I find it interesting that the police aren’t sure how to release her! Simple, open the damn door and kick her out on her bony ass just like the common folk. Or, is going to get special treatment for this nonevent also?

Trashy Hilton


Talk About a Cause to Laugh… Pardon Publicity Slut Paris Hilton!

June 10, 2007

WTF cat

Sherman Yellen Sherman Yellen wrote in yesterday’s Huffingtion Post that President George W. Bush should pardon Paris Hilton. Only a radical left winger could use this event to slam the President. What a load of shiat head.

His comments are too weird for even me, your humble correspond, Mr. Bob to write. You just have to read it yourself. Anybody got a barf bag? I think I need to go out and eat some grass (the lawn type). Talk about disgusting, this has got to take the cake in malicious slander and distortion of facts. Sounds like a damn french poodle to me.

To quote from his bio: “Growing up in New York under FDR, Sherman has watched with great sadness ( sob, sob) the Bush administration’s dismantling of social programs (meaning entitlements) and social progress in this country. He has been appalled by the heartlessness and greed that now passes for government policy (ah, can anyone say Robert Jefferson). As an observer of contemporary American life, Sherman believes it is the obligation of artists to speak out against the erosion of our democracy during these troubling times.”

Ruby will now pass out crying towels, line forms to the left (of course).

 

May Yellen, DIAF.

Mr. Bob heading for the tall grass and then a good heave.


A Double Victory

June 9, 2007

Will they pleazeee stop the 24-7 coverage of the Publicity Whore, Paris Hilton! Poor Bob is a walking zombie. FNC’s ratings must be going through the roof. I don’t think Mr. Bob has slept in two day with all the coverage given to the Publicity Whore! He is such a news Hound.

Looks like the biatch is going back to her undecorated cell even thought she has this double supper secret medical condition. Sounds like cocaine or some other illegal drug withdrawal to us. Chances are she never informed the jail’s medical staff that she is some type of substance addict. Little nose candy or crack perhaps. Or is she more into black tar heroin? Na, I think she would be more the crystal meth type. May explain her weird movements. Man, nobody walks or moves like that on purpose. Oh well, pity her. May be she’ll learn a little honesty is the best thing.

Hilton goes to court

So nice to see her going hysterical and crying out to mommy “it’s not right”.

 

Perhaps she can get a new vanity tag for her car. Something like this would look great.

Hilton Vanity Plate

We do hope that she gets to meet some nice, friendly people while in jail. I can just see her running up and hugging Bib Bertha, Big Bertha her new cell mate. I bet Ms. Bertha can teach her a few tricks. And, I sure Ms. Bertha will take Hilton under her, ahh, wings for protection.

Mr. Bob got some insider information that Hilton will also be under the direct, and they did say DIRECT supervision of a special Correctional Officer Hilton’s CO
Ms Helen Wait. Mr. Bob was told that she is a very persuasive CO who has orders to make certain Hilton toes the line. We think between CO Wait and Ms. Bertha, Hilton will have a few life changing experiences while a guest at the L.A. County Jail. Change is good, right Hilton? Both Ms. Bertha and CO Helen Wait ARE HOT, right Paris?
One has to look at the bright side Hilton. Just think of all the new chapters that you can write in your new book that we all know will be coming out once you little Publicity Whore you, get released. Then there will be the made for TV movie if not a silver screen movie. Hilton you are so darn lucky to have all these new experiences to taste, and then write about. Damn, she wins again!

Question now is how long will Hilton spend in the dog pound? Oh, sorry Mr. Bob, you’re right, we don’t know of any self respecting Hounds who would want her in their pound. Odds are she will be out by next weekend. But we sure hope not. Let her suffer her full term. Slut!

Sleep tight Hilton! Got some great pillows with you.

Ruby, going for a ride. Have a great day.

 


The Poor Little Publicity Whore.

June 8, 2007

Wow, what a news day.

Bob was glued to FNC the entire morning waiting for the thrilling news conference. No, not what was going on at the G-8 summit meeting. The really important news conference from the L.A. Sheriff’s Office.

Would the publicity whore Paris Hilton be released from the cruel and inhumane jail cell. Poor dear, having to put up with the poor trash of L.A. in that private cell. No cell phone, no books, no make-up artist, no photographers, no catered meals. No wonder she was on the verge of a hysterical break-down! Not one other person in history has had to endure such depravity!

Bob was so relieved to hear that she was going to get her just punishment. Being confined to her palatial estate and forced to wear an ankle bracelet. That will teach the slut. Of course, nobody sez she can’t have visitors… which to Hilton means… PARTY, PARTY, PARTY!

Paris Hilton Copyright © Bogdan Migulski

She never looked so damned…. dead?

We interrupt this rant to bring you this update:

Paris “The Publicity Slut” Hilton ordered to return to court tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.

Seems that Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer is a little pissed that the L.A. Sheriff Lee Baca ordered her early morning release today. Apparently when the judge sentenced Hilton to jail last month, he ruled specifically that she could not serve her sentence at home under electronic monitoring.

Oops! Looks like there is going to be some really cool fireworks in California tomorrow. Bob is so excited. What a dog he is!

Ruby.


Bob really likes this one… Paris Hilton going to the pound!

May 5, 2007

Wow, who ever would have thunk it? The darling of the social jet set is going to be spending 45 days in the dog pound. We can hear her now, “but judge-e-pooh, I’m like way to pretty to go to jail” She even had the nerve to arrive 10 minutes late for her court appearance. If I were the judge, I’d give her an additional 10 days!

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer sent the bitch (okay word, we checked) to spend the whole 45 days in jail. She won’t even be able to leave for any of the big city parties. And, I like this part, she can’t even wear a monitor. Wonder if the monitor is like the type they put on our relalitive when the speak too much. You know, a nice jolt to remind ya to shut up and act nice.

“I’m very sorry and from now on I’m going to pay complete attention to everything. I’m sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all,” Hilton told the judge before he announced the sentence.

One of her attorneys, Howard Weitzman, said he would appeal. “I’m shocked, I’m surprised and really disheartened in the system that I’ve worked in for close to 40 years,” Weitzman said.

He said the sentence was “uncalled for, inappropriate and bordered on the ludicrous.” “I think she’s singled out because of who she is,” Weitzman said.

What does this shister think Hilton should get for a sentence? Perhaps 45 days a five start health spa! Oh to be one of the beautiful people for whom the world spins around. We think she really should have to do her time in a dog pound… the bitch!

Trashy Hilton

Till next time,

Ruby