Closing Down the Site

November 2, 2008

Hello everyone. Just a quick note to let everyone who has enjoyed Bob & Ruby Speak Out know that since the death of Ms. Ruby I didn’t think it would be right to keep the blog going. I have moved all of our post to the new blog that Ms. Fran and I have started. We hope that you will stop by and keep in touch.

Our new blog site is located at http://anothergreyhoundblog.wordpress.com/

Thanks and say goodnight Ms. Fran

Bob


Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?

October 23, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?

And now you know

And now you know

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Let’s give a big shout out for that chicken!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


ST. PETER’S GATE

October 22, 2008

Got this in an email today. Needed a good laugh. Hope you enjoy it too.

ST. PETER’S GATE

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, ‘Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died.’ ‘No problem, the man said. ‘I came home to my
25Th-floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging of f the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.

But wouldn’t you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my hands on to throw at him.

Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!

The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.’ The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, ‘OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven’ and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel’s surprise, it was Donald Trump.

‘Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died.’ Trump said, ‘No problem. But you’re not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26Th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!

Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn’t die right away.

As I’m laying there face up on the ground , unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.’ The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. ‘I could get used to this new policy,’ he thinks to himself. ‘Very well,’ the Angel announces.
‘Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven’ and he lets Trump enter.

A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel’s head. Finally he says, ‘Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died.’ Clinton says, ‘OK, picture this. I’m naked, inside a refrigerator……

Enjoy,

Mr. Bob


Are you part of the problem?

October 16, 2008

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida .

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation.

I've got answers to everything.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Are there any other problems that you’d like for me to solve today? Yes!

Think about this one:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians . . . . It creates a hostile work environment.

PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, Think about this: If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone–YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for America to Speak up!

Yep, I passed it on!

Now this is an Old Girl I could get to love,

Night,

Mr. Bob

And a tip of the bowl to Gary B for send this email.


I’m still here.

October 14, 2008

Hi folks. I, Mr. Bob is still here. Just finding it a little difficult to get back into the writing thing without Ms. Ruby. My Folks say that we are going to be going to some of the local Greyhound Rescue places and get me a new friend. I do miss my kind.

The folks have been really great. They are very understanding when I don’t want to play with my squeey toy or run a couple of extra laps in the yard. I did go out with them today and do some supervision of their garden work. Rough job, but someone has to do it. Helps keep me busy.

Don’t give up on me. I’m getting back into my groove and with the prospect of finding a new friend will put the spark back into me. Then look out.

Thanks for your understanding,

Love to all,

Mr. Bob

Me, Mr. Bob!

Me, Mr. Bob!


Bruce Tinsley has done it again.

October 1, 2008

Came across this in the morning comic. My favorite cartoonist, Bruce Tinsley of Mallard Filmore fame has struck the nail on the head. Man is a genius of our time.

Poor Jesse & Al, lost their fire.

Poor Jesse & Al, lost their fire.

Just what are the old trouble makers gong to complain about now? Will they still be able to use the ever popular race card? And the Feminists.. Wow, have they lost their steam. Now they complain because Sarha has done everything they used to complain about woman not being able to do.

Like they say ladies… tough mammary’s!


Cats do have a use after all.

September 30, 2008

This is just what I, your humble writer need to read today. Brought a big shiat eating grin to my face. And I just love true stories.

My Son the Vet

How proud of your children are you?

One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

‘Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,’ he stated.

‘Why yes,’ she replied, ‘every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.’

The pastor replied, ‘That’s wonderful, how much does he send you?’

The old lady said, ‘$10,000 a week.’

The pastor was amazed. ‘Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?’

‘He is a veterinarian,’ she answered.

‘That is an honorable profession,’ the pastor said. ‘Where does he practice?’

The old lady said proudly, ‘In Nevada.
He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno.’

No that's a good one.

Now that's a good one!